Monday, 23 January 2012
A girl searching 4 her ideal manposted in a news paper,itreads=>i need a man dat wudneva leave me,never beat me andcan satisfy me in bed<=.D nextday,a man without arms and legsknocks on her door.she opens ddoorMAN:i want to b ur manGIRL:u are not fitMAN:i have no arms,i can't beatu.I have no legs,i can't leave u.GIRL:how can u satisfy me in bedMAN:how d u think i knocked ond door?
A wife knew her husband wassleeping wit d maid,so she laid atrap. She sent d maid to d villagefor weekend & didn't tell herhusband. Dat nyt they went tobed. The husband woke up &gave his old story. "Excuse medear,i want to watch Tv in dparlor", he went to the palourfirst. Shortly his wife snicked intod maid's room,stripped & laid ond bed light off .She heard himcome in silently & wasted no tymwit words & started making luvwit her since she was naked.When he finished,d wife said tohim..."God has exposed u,udidn't expect me on dis bed,didu"? She then switched on d light."No Madam!!!" said d securityguard,am sorry i didn't know itwas you. hehehe.
Saturday, 21 January 2012
How to catch a cheatingboyfriend! Here’s how.1. A guilty conscience is a heavyweight to carry around foranyone, and those that do usuallypay with sleepless nights. Maybeyou have noticed? Just one otherthing, the urge to admit thereinfidelity is almost as heavy asthe weight it’s self.2. Some people are not greatlybothered by there ownappearance, so if they all of asudden find a need to sprucethemselves up for no particularreason that you can see, thenthis could be a clue thatsomething is not right.3. How to catch a cheatingboyfriend may well depend onyou putting two and twotogether and realizing that thoserecent arguments were allcaused by him. But why? And thearguments always resulted inhim going out. Strange?4. You know when yourboyfriend is lying, but onlyrecently has it become aneveryday event. Never the less, itis upsetting for you to realizethis. But why is he lying all thetime. The one true thing about aliar, you have to have a goodmemory, sooner or later the lieswill catch you out.5. How to catch your boyfriendcheating, is by keeping an eye onthe time he spends on line, andmost particularly the emailactivity. This really is classic signsof a cheater.6. Your circle of friends will giveyou subtle clues, if anything isgoing on. By that i mean, verylittle eye contact will be given toyou. Conversations will be forcedand unnatural. You see yourfriends could be caught in themiddle of whatever is going on.7. Now cell phone conversationsor the secrecy of them, is a biggive away. Notice how hewhispers when he is on his cellphone? He was never that quitebefore. And most of the time heleaves the room any way.
BIG Trouble!A couple had two little boys, ages8 and 10, who were excessivelymischievous. They were alwaysgetting into trouble and theirparents knew that if anymischief occurred in their town,their sons were probablyinvolved.The boys' mother heard that aclergyman in town had beensuccessful in disciplining children,so she asked if he would speakwith her boys. The clergymanagreed, but asked to see themindividually.So the mother sent her 8-year-oldfirst, in the morning, with theolder boy to see the clergyman inthe afternoon.The clergyman, a huge man witha booming voice, sat the youngerboy down and asked him sternly,"Where is God?"They boy's mouth dropped open,but he made no response, sittingthere with his mouth hangingopen, wide-eyed.So the clergyman repeated thequestion in an even sterner tone,"Where is God?"Again the boy made no attemptto answer.So the clergyman raised his voiceeven more and shook his fingerin the boy's face and bellowed,"WHERE IS GOD!?"The boy screamed and boltedfrom the room, ran directly homeand dove into his closet,slamming the door behind him.When his older brother foundhim in the closet, he asked, "Whathappened?"The younger brother, gasping forbreath, replied, "We are in BIGtrouble this time, dude...God is missing--and they thinkWE did it!"
A MUST READReally heart touching………I was walking around in a BigBazar store making shopping,when I sawa Cashier talking to a boy couldn’thave been more than 5 or 6yearsold..TheCashier said, ‘I’m sorry, butyou don’t have enough money tobuythis doll. Then the little boyturned to me and asked: ”Uncle,areyou sure I don’t have enoughmoney?”I counted his cash and replied:”You know that you don’t haveenoughmoney to buy the doll, my dear.”The little boy was still holding thedoll in his hand.Finally, I walked toward him andI asked him who he wished togivethis doll to. ‘It’s the doll that mysister loved most and wanted somuch . I wanted to Gift her forher BIRTHDAY.I have to give the doll to mymommy so that she can give it tomysister when she goes there.’ Hiseyes were so sad while sayingthis.‘My Sister has gone to be withGod.. Daddy says that Mommy isgoing tosee God very soon too, so Ithought that she could take thedoll withher to give it to my sister…”My heart nearly stopped. The littleboy looked up at me and said: ‘Itold daddy to tell mommy not togo yet. I need her to wait until Icome back from the mall.’ Thenhe showed me a very nice photoof himwhere he was laughing. He thentold me ‘I want mommy to takemypicture with her so my sisterwon’t forget me.’ ‘I love mymommy and Iwish she doesn’t have to leaveme, but daddy says that she hasto goto be with my little sister.’ Thenhe looked again at the doll withsad eyes, very quietly..I quickly reached for my walletand said to the boy. ‘Suppose wecheckagain, just in case you do haveenough money for the doll?”‘OK’ he said, ‘I hope I do haveenough.’ I added some of mymoney tohis with out him seeing and westarted to count it. There wasenoughfor the doll and even some sparemoney.The little boy said: ‘Thank youGod for giving me enoughmoney!’Then he looked at me and added,‘I asked last night before I wenttosleep for God to make sure I hadenough money to buy this doll,sothat mommy could give It to mysister. He heard me!” ‘I alsowantedto have enough money to buy awhite rose for my mommy, but Ididn’tdare to ask God for too much.But He gave me enough to buythe dolland a white rose. My mommyloves white roses.’I finished my shopping in atotally different state from whenIstarted. I couldn’t get the littleboy out of my mind. Then Iremembered a localnews paper article two days ago,which mentioned a drunk man inatruck, who hit a car occupied bya young woman and a little girl.Thelittle girl died right away, and themother was left in a criticalstate. The family had to decidewhether to pull the plug on thelife-sustaining machine, becausethe young woman would not beable torecover from the coma. Was thisthe family of the little boy?Two days after this encounterwith the little boy, I read in thenewspaper that the young womanhad passed away.. I couldn’t stopmyself asI bought a bunch of white rosesand I went to the funeral homewherethe body of the young womanwas exposed for people to seeand makelast wishes before her burial. Shewas there, in her coffin, holdingabeautiful white rose in her handwith the photo of the little boyandthe doll placed over her chest. Ileft the place, teary-eyed, feelingthat my life had been changedfor ever…The love that the little boy had forhis mother and his sister isstill, to this day, hard to imagine.And in a fraction of a second, adrunk driver had taken all thisaway from him.Please DO NOT DRINK & DRIVE.
Last niGht at dinner, little Akposwasasked to lead inprayEr.Akpos: But I don't know how topraY?DAD: Just pray for yourfamilY members.Akpos: "Dear Lord," hestarted, "thank u for giving mesUchlovelY parents.Thanks for our visitors and theirchildrEn, who finished all mycookiesand ice cream. Bless Demso dat they won't comeAgain.Forgive our neighbor's son, wHoremoved my sister's clothes Andwrestled with her on her bed.This coming Xmas, pls senDclothes toall those poor nakedladies on my daddy'sblackberry and provide shelter forthehomEless men who usemom's rOOm when daddy is atwork, "!AMEN!"
Dear God,I don't knw of al d challenges myFriends re facing..But YOU do knw everything...I hear their silence,U hear their pleading..I see them laughingU see their tears..I see when they give,U see what has been taken fromthem..I see their appearance,U see d scars in their soul..I experience their faith,U know their doubts..Today, I ask U 2give themEverything they need &Bless themabundantly for al times tocome..Amen!!
One day, a poor boy whowasbegging from door to doortofeed his hungry stomachdecidedhe would ask for a mealat the next house.However,helost his nerve when a lovelyyoung woman opened thedoor.Insteadof a meal, he askedfor acup of water. The womanthought he looked hungry,so shebrought him a large glass ofmilk. He drank it ... slowly, andthenasked,"How much do I oweyou?""You don't owe meanything,"shereplied."Mother has taught us,never to acceptpay fora kindness."He said....."Then Ithankyou from my heart".Years later,that young womanbecamecritically ill. The localdoctorswerebaffled as dey couldn'tcure her. They finally sent her tothebig city, where they calledinspecialists to study her rareillness. Dr Howard Kelly wascalledin for theconsultation.When he heard the name ofthetown she came from, astrange light filled his eyes.Immediately,he rose and went down thehallof the hospital to her room.He recognized her at once. Hewentback to the consultationroomdetermined to do his best tosaveher life. From that day hegave special attention tothe case.Aftera long struggle, thebattlewas won!!! Dr Kelly requested thebusiness office to pass thefinalbill to him for approval.Helookedat it, then wrote something onthe bill. It was sent to herroom.The woman feared openingit,forshe was sure it would take therest of her life to pay for itall.Finally she looked, andnoticedsomething was written at theedge of the note "Paid for infullfor a glass of milk". Tearsfilledher eyes as she immediatelyremembered ... Every formofkindness u sow doesn'tbounce, itreproduces itself. Notnecessarily before your eyes but italwaysdoes. I've been kind to youbysharing this story with youso be kind to share it with others
A young man goesinto a pharmacy and says tothe pharmacist,"Hello, Could you give mecondom? I'm going to mygirlfriend's placeFor dinner and I think Imay bein with a chance!"The pharmacist giveshim a Condom and as theyoung manis going out; he returnsand says,"Give me another condombecause my girlfriend'ssister is very Cutetoo" . She always crossesher legs in a provocativemanner when she sees meand I think I might strikeit lucky there too."The pharmacist giveshim a second condom and asthe boy is leaving he turns backand says,"Go on, give me one morecondom because mygirlfriend's mum is stillpretty cute and whenshe sees me she always makeseyes, and since she invited me fordinner,I think she is expecting meto make a move!During dinner, the youngman is sitting with hisgirlfriend on his left,the sister on his right andthe mum facing him . Whenthe dad gets there, the boy lowershis head and starts praying,"Dear Lord, bless thisdinner and thank you for all yougive Us."A minute later the boysis still praying; "and thank youLord for your Kindness."Ten minutes go by and the boy isstill Praying,keeping his head down.The others look at eachother surprised and hisgirlfriend is even More surprisedthan the others. She gets close tothe boy and says in his ear, ”Ididn't know youare so religious."The boy replies, "I didn't knowyour DAD was aPHARMACIST!!!.
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
A man is walking down the streetone day when he notices a verysmall boy trying to press adoorbell on a house across thestreet. However, the boy is verysmall and the doorbell is too highfor him to reach. After watchingthe boy's efforts for some time,the man moves closer to the boy'sposition.He steps smartly across the street,walks up behind the little fellowand, placing his hand kindly onthe child's shoulder, leans overand gives the doorbell a solid ring.Crouching down to the childslevel, the man smiles benevolentlyand asks, "And now what, my littleman?"The boy replies, "Now we run!"
====>MAGIC kItCHEN<====James is a house boy who drinkshis Boss's wine then adds water.His Boss became suspicious anddecided to change the brand ofhis wine, as usual James drankfrom the wine and topped it withwater and immediately thewine became milky and he knewhe was in trouble. When his Bosscame back and saw the changedwine, he knew he had nailedJames.James knowinghe was in trouble decided 2 stayin the kitchen.The Boss having told his wifewhat he observed now swunginto action."James!" he called from thesitting room.He answered: "Yes Boss"."Who drank my wine? Jamesdidn't answer. The Boss askedagain, still no answer.Then His Boss went to the kitchento meet him there: "Are youinsane or what?Why when I called, you said" yesboss" but wen I asked you aquestion you didn't answer me? "James replied,"hmmmmmmoga when you are in the kitchenyou CAN'T understand anything atall except your name""Is that so?"asked his boss,"Okay, go to the SITTING ROOMbeside Madam, while I go into thekitchen then,you ask me a question"James accepted.When his boss was in the kitchenhe shouts: "Boss". "Yes''James Boss answers. James thenasks,"Who goes into AuntyYetunde's bedroom whenMadam is not at home?"No answer.James shouted again:"Boss, I saywho dey sneak into AuntyYetunde’s room when madam nodey house?"No answer 4rm boss again.The Boss runs back from thekitchen shouting" Wonders shall never endooooooooooooooo! James, It'strue ooooo, when one is in thekitchen, he can't hear anythingexcept one's name."The wife now very angryinterrupted, "that's not true. It'sa lie!"James asked if she'll enter themagic kitchen and be tested andshe agreed.James asks madam,"Who'sjunior's biological father? Me orMy Boss?''Madam rushed out of the kitchensaying''This kitchen needs to bechanged oooooooooooo! I can'tunderstand anything at all
A woman was walking along thebeach when she stumbled upon aGenie's lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it,and lo-and-behold a Genieappeared. The amazed womanasked if she got three wishes.The Genie said, "Nope...due toinflation, constant downsizing,low wages in third-worldcountries, and fierce globalcompetition, I can only grant youone wish.? So...what'll it be?"The woman didn't hesitate. Shesaid: "I want peace in the MiddleEast. See this map? I want thesecountries to stop fighting witheach other."The Genie looked at the map andexclaimed: "Gosh, lady! Thesecountries have been at war forthousands of years. I'm good, butnot THAT good! I don't think itcan be done. Make another wish."The woman thought for a minuteand said: "Well, I've never beenable to find the right man. Youknow, one that's considerate andfun, likes to cook and helps withthe housecleaning, is good in bedand gets along with my family,doesn't watch sports all the time,and is faithful.? That's what I wishfor...a good mate."The Genie let out a long sigh andsaid, "Let me see that map again!"
Monday, 16 January 2012
tHE sEvEn (7) hABItS Of MEn:1. All men are extremely busy.2. Although they are so busy,they still have time for women.3. Although they have time forwomen, they don't really carefor them.4. Although they don't reallycare for them, they always haveone around.5. Although they always haveone around them, they alwaystry their luck with others.6. Although they try their luckwith others, they get reallypissed off if the women leavesthem.7. Although the women leavesthem they still don't learn fromtheir mistakes and still go afterother ladies.trU3 or false(wif reasons)???
WEALTH is wen u buy a ist classreturn tickt to d UK 2 pick up adress[money spkin]TROUBLE isslappin a soldier infrnt of abarrack[u'l nt live wel enuf 2 tel dstory]FA8 is usin d last dime on u2 buy a purse[abeg u nid go findwrk]IRONY is wen d chairman ofan okada associatn uses a rangerover sport[u go fearnah]STUPIDITY is avin 6 cars wyllivin in a rntd apartmnt[lagosmumu]WISDM is datin urlandlord's dota[ovakaku]FOOLISHNES is takin a N5000cab to c a N1000 movie[y nt wa84 d piratd copy]LUV is buyin suya4 ur g.f wyl u eat jez d onions[dtswt i cal calabar luv]
WEALTH is wen u buy a ist classreturn tickt to d UK 2 pick up adress[money spkin]TROUBLE isslappin a soldier infrnt of abarrack[u'l nt live wel enuf 2 tel dstory]FA8 is usin d last dime on u2 buy a purse[abeg u nid go findwrk]IRONY is wen d chairman ofan okada associatn uses a rangerover sport[u go fearnah]STUPIDITY is avin 6 cars wyllivin in a rntd apartmnt[lagosmumu]WISDM is datin urlandlord's dota[ovakaku]FOOLISHNES is takin a N5000cab to c a N1000 movie[y nt wa84 d piratd copy]LUV is buyin suya4 ur g.f wyl u eat jez d onions[dtswt i cal calabar luv]
They were married, but since theargument they had a few daysearlier, they hadn't been talking toeach other.Instead, they were giving eachother written notes.One evening he gave her a paperwhere it said:"Wake me up tomorrow morningat 6 am."The next morning he woke upand saw that it was 9 o'clock.Naturally he got very angry, but ashe turned around he found a noteon his pillow saying:"Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
An American lawyer and aNigerian aresitting next to each other on alongflight. The lawyer is thinking thatNigerians are so dumb that hecould putsomething over on them easily...Sothelawyer asks if the Nigerian wouldlike toplay a fun game.The Nigerian is tired and justwants totake a nap, so he politely declinesandtries to catch a few winks. TheAmericanlawyer persists, and says that thegameis a lot of fun. I ask you aquestion, and ifyou don't know the answer, youpayme only $5; you ask me one, and ifIdon't know the answer, I will payyou$500, he says. This catches theNigerian's attention and to keepthelawyer quiet, he agrees to play thegame.The lawyer asks the first question.'What's the distance from TheEarth tothe Moon?' The Nigerian doesn'tsay aword, reaches in his pocket pullsout afive-dollar bill, and hands it to thelawyer.Now, it's the Nigerian's turn. Heasks the lawyer, 'What goes up ahillwith three legs, and comes downwithfour?' The lawyer uses his laptopandsearches all references he couldfind onthe Net. He sends e-mails to all thesmartfriends he knows, all to no avail.Afterone hour of searching he finallygivesup. He wakes up the Nigerian andhandshim $500. The Nigerian pocketsthe $500and goes right back to sleep. Thelawyeris going nuts not knowing theanswer. Hewakes the Nigerian up and asks,'Well,so what goes up a hill with threelegs andcomes down with four?'The Nigerian reaches in hispocket, handsthe lawyer $5 and goes back tosleep.
A young couple moves into a newneighborhood. The next morning,while they are eating breakfast,the young woman sees herneighbor hang the wash outside.That laundry is not very clean, shesaid, she doesn't know how towash correctly. Perhaps she needsbetter laundry soap.Her husband looked on, butremained silent. Every time herneighbor would hang her washto dry, the young woman wouldmake the same comments.About one month later, thewoman was surprised to see anice clean wash on the line andsaid to her husband: "Look! Shehas learned how to washcorrectly. I wonder who taughther this."The husband said: "I got up earlythis morning and cleaned ourwindows!"
During the wedding rehearsal, thegroom approached the pastorwith an unusual offer: "Look, I'llgive you N1000 if you'll changethe wedding vows. When you getto the part where I'm supposedto promise to 'love, honour andobey' and 'be faithful to herforever,' I'd appreciate it if you'djust leave that out."He passed the minister N1000and walked away satisfied. On theday of the wedding, when it cametime for the groom's vows, thepastor looked the young man inthe eye and said:"Will you promise to prostrateyourself before her, obey herevery command and wish, serveher breakfast in bed everymorning of your life, and sweareternally before God and yourlovely wife that you will not evereven look at another woman, aslong as you both shall live?"The groom gulped and lookedaround, and said in a tiny voice,"Yes," then leaned toward thepastor and hissed: "I thought wehad a deal."The pastor put N1000 into thegroom's hand and whispered:"She made me a better offer."
Sunday, 15 January 2012
HERE'S THE CONCLUDING PART OFTHE STORY-it was a letter. It reads:"My loving husband, wordscannot express how I feel so, Ihad to write it down. I have beengoing to see a doctor for over aweek and I wanted to be surebefore I give you the news.The doctor confirmed it that I ampregnant with a twin and ourbaby is due in 7 months fromnow. The same doctor is my longlost brother whom I lost contactwith after our marriage. He haspromised to take care of me andour baby and give us the bestwithout collecting a dime. He alsopromised to have dinner with ustoday. I am putting this on yourfavorite chair in the sitting roomfor you to remember the day youproposed to me and I had towrite to you saying,"Yes" becauseI was so happy. Thanks forstaying by my side". -Your lovingwife. The letter fell from his hand.There was a knock at the doorand the same man he had seenwith his wife came in and said,"Hello Dave, I suppose I'm right.Its Max the brother of your wifeand......".Suddenly, Max noticed his sisterlying in a pool of her blood. Herushed her to the hospital andshe was confirmed dead. Her twinbaby gone. - We should not be tooquick to take unnecessary actionsin our relationship ormarriage when we haven'tquestioned our partner or spouseon what we saw or heard aboutthem. - Each of us has faults. Weshouldn't be too fast to decide thejudgment of others. Have youthought of that thing you aredoing wrong that no one sees?- Not everything you see, hear orbelieve about someone istrue . . .plz becareful wat u belive.
Little Johnny and his mother wereon a train. Johnny leant over andstarted to whisper in his mother'sear.'Johnny, how many times have Itold you,' said his mother, ' it'srude to whisper. If you havesomething to say, say it out loud.''OK, said Johnny, 'why does thelady over there look like an ugly,haggard old witch?'
A man walked up to a farmer'shouse, and knocked on the door.When the farmer's wife openedthe door, the man asked if sheknew how to have sex. Notamused, she slammed the door.Again, the man knocked, andagain, he asked the samequestion. Again, she slammed thedoor and screamed, "Get the hellaway!"Later, she told her husband of theincident. He said he would stayhome the following day just incase.Sure enough, the next day thesame man returned. The husbandhid with his gun while his wifeanswered the door.When she was asked again if sheknew how to have sex she said,"Yes!"The man replied, "Great! Givesome to your husband the nexttime you see him, and tell him tokeep away from my wife!"
(18+ ) XxX SCANDALBOY: girl what am i doing now ?GIRL(a stammerer): you are , uhyou are ho ho ho ho holding mama my ha ha handsBOY: girl what am i doing to younow ?GIRL: you..you.. you are mmm cucu cu .. cuddling my bo bo bodyBOY: k girl what am i doing now ?GIRL: you are , you are .. are mmmmm ki ki kissing my lipsBOY:wow that's good ,now whatam i doing next ?GIRL: you are eh eh, you areawww eh to to touching my thingBOY: yeah i know you like it , sowhat am i doing now ?GIRL : uuh you are yeahhhyou...you.....you are mmm arrgh ,you are , you areco...co........co....co...co oh yeah mmyou co...co....collecting HIV+AIDSBOY: {faints}
A man sat down at a bar and toldthe bartender, "I bet you threehundred naira that I can piss intothe cup all the way over there onthe other side of the bar and notmiss a single drop."The bartender said, "There is noway you can do that. Sure, I'll betyou three hundred naira."The man then begins to undo hispants and begins pissing. Hestarts pissing all over the bar,spraying on the bottles and thebartender, not making a singledrop in the cup.The bartender starts smiling andlaughing and says, "That's it, youowe me three hundred naira."The man then gets up and walksover to the pool table and startslaughing and shaking hands withthe men standing there. He walksback to bar, sits down and startslaughing at the bartender andhands him the money.The bartender asks, "Why are youlaughing? You just lost the bet."The man said, "I'm laughingbecause I bet those guys overthere one thousand naira that Icould piss all over you and yourbar and you would still belaughing when I was done."
There was a young girl whodecided to take a short cut homefrom school. The fastest way toher house was to cut through analley. The girl approached the alleyway. She saw a manstanding like he was waiting forsomeone. She said a prayer:"DearGod please lead me through thisalleyway, safe and unharmed.Amen." The girl walked throughthe alley and past the man.Later on that night the girldecided to watch the news. Shesaw that man had raped andmurdered a young girl. The policesaid the man told them anothergirl had passed through the alley10 minutes before. They askedhim why he didn't attack the firstgirl. He said there was a manwalking beside her...God walks with us. We deny Hispresences but He is always there.Same way He'll b there fƠ̴̴̴̴͡я̲̅ u.
AN INTERESTING STORY A couplehave been married for over9yearswithout children and it wasbecoming their10th year.Dave and Clara stayed with eachother andhoped that they will have a childbefore their10th year of marriage runs outbecause they were underpersuasion from friends andfamily members to get a divorcebut theycould'nt let go because of the lovebetweenthem.Months passed and one day, whileDave wasreturning from work, he saw hiswife walking down the road witha man. The manhad his arms around her neckand theylooked very happy.For over a week, he saw the sameman withhis wife at various places and oneevening,while Dave was returning fromwork he saw the man drop heroff at the house aftergiving her a kiss on the cheek.Dave was angry and sad.Two days later, after a hectic dayat work,Dave was taking water with aglass jug fromthe dispenser when the phonerang. He picked it up and theperson said,"Hello dear,I'll be coming to your house thisevening tosee you as promised. I hope.....".Dave hung-up the phone. It was amale voiceand he was sure the person wasthe man hehad always seen her with. Hesuddenly became shaky with thethoughtthat he has lost his wife toanother man. Theglass jug fell from his hand andshatteredinto pieces. Clara came runninginto the roomasking,"Is everything okay?".In anger he gave his wife a pushand she fell. She wasn't moving orgetting up. Dave thenrealized that she fell where hebroke the glassjug. A large piece of glass hadpierced her. Hefelt her breath, pulse andheartbeat but thereshe lay lifeless.His wife was dead. In totalconfusion, he saw an envelope inherhand. He took it, opened it andwas shocked byits content -it was a letter....... Thestorycontinues.
Friday, 13 January 2012
Be careful who prints ur weddingprogramme!A printer was asked to put "1stJohn 4:18" on a weddingprogramme but he made amistake. Instead he printed "John4:18".NOTE: "1st John 4:18" says: “Thereis no fear in love;but perfect love casts out fear:because fear has torment. He thatfears is not made perfect inlove”."John 4:18" reads : “For u havehad five husbands; & he whom unow have is not ur husband”
1. You see a gorgeous girl at aparty. You go up to her and say:"I am very rich. Marry me!" -THAT'S DIRECT MARKETING2. You're at a party with a bunchof friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes upto her and pointing at you says:"He's very rich. Marry him."THAT'S ADVERTISING3. You see a gorgeous girl at aparty. You go up to her and gether Telephone number. The nextday, you call and say: "Hi, I'm veryrich. Marry me." -THAT'S TELEMARKETING4. You're at a party and seegorgeous girl. You get up andstraighten your tie, you walk upto her and pour her a drink, youopen the door (of the car)for her,pick up her bag after she dropsit, offer her ride and then say: Bythe way, I'm rich. Will you marryme?" -THAT'S PUBLIC RELATIONS5. You're at a party and seegorgeous girl. She walks up toyou and says: You are very rich!Can you marry me?" -THAT'S BRAND RECOGNITION6. You see a gorgeous girl at aparty. You go up to her and say: Iam very rich. Marry me!" Shegives you a nice hard slap onyour face. -THAT'S CUSTOMER FEEDBACK7. You see a gorgeous girl at aparty. You go up to her and say:"I am very rich. Marry me!" Andshe introduces you to herhusband. -THAT'S DEMAND & SUPPLY GAP8. You see a gorgeous girl at aparty. You go up to her andbefore you say: "I'm rich, Marryme!" your wife arrives. -THAT'S RESTRICTION FOR ENTERINGNEW MARKETS
Fuel subsidy customercare:-)Gudmorning & Welcome to subsidy online assistance service. How can we help you today? -To know the price of fuel in your home zone PRESS 1. - If you are still stuck in the village PRESS 2. - In case you need fuel but you don’t have money PRESS 3. - To get in touch with a black marketer in your area PRESS 4. - If you are interested in marrying an oil worker especially a petrol attendant, PRESS 0. - To personalize your new engine to start using palm wine, PRESS 5. - If your new means of transportation is donkey, PRESS 6 - If you voted GEJ and not PDP, PRESS 7 - For more info, please stay online to speak to President Goodluck Jonathan. - In case you are not satisfied with his explanation, join the #OccupyNigeria protest nearest to you. Thank you
what would u do if u find urself in dis senario???*Lady: Hi, Goodmorning Radio Station: Goodmorning, what can we do for you? Lady: Please, i will like two tickets to the A.Y show holding this weekend. Radio Station: Well, you can have the tickets only if you can play a prank on someone on air and make them to believe it. Lady: That's ok Radio Station: Are you married? Do you have kids? Lady: Yes, and i have a son. Radio Station: Good. You will call your husband and tell him he is not the father of your son. Lady: Wow, that's a big one Radio Station: Well, depends on how bad you want the tickets, and anyway we will be live on air listening and step in to tell him it's all a prank. Lady: Ok. Let's do this because i really want the tickets. Radio Station; Ok. Where is he right now? Lady: He is in the office. His number is........ (Radio station calls the husband) Lady: Hello love Husband: Hi baby Lady: How is work? Husband: Good! Can't wait to get back home and be with you. Lady; Me too love. But erm!...there's sumtin i need to tell you Husband: Ok. I'm all ears Lady: You know i love you?..n we promised to always be sincere to each other? Husband: Yes i do. U are starting to scare me dear, please, what's this abt? Lady: Something happened in my office nine yrs ago, d annual xmas party we had in d office, nine yrs ago. I got so drunk n had sex with a co-worker....erm!, you are not d father of our son. Husband: WHAT! Are you crazy? Lady: I am sorry love, i just needed to get it off my chest, I'm sorry love, pls forgive me. Husband: I can't believe this. You want forgiveness? Ok, you too forgive this, I have been sleeping with your sister for the past five years. Radio Station: Oh God! Lady: What did you say? Husband: You heard me; we just confessed our sins to each other. Is anybody there with you? Radio Station: Sir, this is Pranks FM n you are on air. We asked your wife to play a prank on you, so, you guys can get tickets to go watch the A.Y live show this weekend. Husband: Oh shit! Lady: Oh no! Radio Station: This is not what we expected sir. Husband: I have to go now. (Phone cuts) So, if you were the man or woman, what would you do?
*women's snappy comeback*Man: ="Haven't we met before? " Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic. "Man: ="Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. "Man: = "Is this seat empty? " Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. "Man: = "So, wanna go back to my place? " Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? "Man: = "Your place or mine? " Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine. "Man: = "I'd like to call you. What's your number? " Woman: "It's in the phone book. "Man: = "But I don't know your name. " Woman: "That's in the phone book too. "Man: = "So what do you do for a living? " Woman: "I'm a female impersonator. "Man: = "What sign were you born under? " Woman: "No Parking. "Man: = "Hey, baby, what's your sign? " Woman: "Do not Enter "Man: = "How do you like your eggs in the morning? " Woman: "Unfertilized! "Man: = "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason " Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks! "Man: = "I know how to please a woman. " Woman: "Then please leave me alone. "Man: = "I want to give myself to you. " Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts. "Man: = "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. " Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. "Man: = "Your body is like a temple. " Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today. "Man: = "I'd go through anything for you. " Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account. "Man: = "I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there"
Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did, and the following morning Johnny described everything to his mother:"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her, I figured sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,just like the doctor would. Except he's not as good as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever because sis told him she was really HOT. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick.... a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 9 inches long. HONEST! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. I should tell her about the ones I saw at the lake! Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by bitting its head off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go... I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel... I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. And by golly, the eel wasn't dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats.... they have nine lives or something. This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet. "Mother fainted."
An Igbo man, Yoruba man andHausa man who were lost in aforest were captured bycannibals. The king of dcannibalstold the prisoners that they couldlive if they pass a trial. The 1ststep was to go deep into d forestn get ten (10) pieces of d samekind of fruits. The three menwenttheir separate ways to gatherfruits.The yoruba man came back nsaidto d king, "i brought ten (10)apples", d king explained d trialtohim, 'you have to shove d fruitsup your butt (yansh) without anyexpression on your face or youwill be killed. The 1st apple wentin, but on d 2nd one, he wincedout in pain, so he was killed.The igbo man arrived n showeddking ten (10) berries. When dkingexplained d trial to him, hethought to himself that thisshould be easy....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 non d ninth (9th) berry, he burstout in laughter n was killed.The yoruba man n igbo man metin heaven. The yoruba manasked,"why did you laugh?", you almostgot away with d trial"....the igboman replied, "i couldn't help it, isaw the Hausa man coming withpineapples."
After getting all of the Pope'sluggage loaded into the limo(and he doesn't travel lightly),the driver notices that the Popeis still standing on the curb.The Pope was still standing onthe curb."Excuse me, Your Eminence,"says the driver, "Would youplease take your seat so we canleave?""Well, to tell you the truth," saysthe Pope, "they never let medrive at the Vatican, and I'dreally like to drive today""I'm sorry but I cannot let youdo that. I'd lose my job! Andwhat if something shouldhappen?" protests the driver,wishing he'd never gone towork that morning."There might be somethingextra in it for you," says thePope.Reluctantly, the driver gets inthe back as the Pope climbs inbehind the wheel.The driver quickly regrets hisdecision when, after exiting theairport, the Supreme Pontifffloors it, accelerating the limo to105 mph."Please slow down, YourHoliness!!!" pleads the worrieddriver, but the Pope keeps thepedal to the metal until theyhear sirens."Oh, dear God, I'm gonna losemy license," moans the driver.BiggerThe Pope pulls over and rollsdown the window as the copapproaches, but the cop takesone look at him, goes back tohis motorcycle, and gets on theradio."I need to talk to the Chief," hesays to the dispatcher.The Chief gets on the radio andthe cop tells him that he'sstopped a limo going a hundredand five."So bust him," said the Chief."I don't think we want to dothat, he's really important," saidthe cop.Chief exclaimed, "All the morereason!""No, I mean really important,"said the cop.The Chief then asked, "Who yagot there, the Mayor?"Cop: "Bigger."Chief: "Governor?"Cop: "Bigger.""Well," said the Chief,"Who isit?"Cop: "I think it's God!"Chief: "What makes you thinkit's God?"Cop: "He's got the Pope for alimo driver!"
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Johnny said to his mum "mum do you know that our househelp Comfort is an Angel?"Mum replied "how do you mean".Well Johnny started "yesterday when you went to the market,I saw Comfort naked in Daddy's room shouting 'ouch,god am cumming. If not for dad that held her tightly by the waist,we would have lost her to heaven by now" Immediately the woman fainted.
The widow takes a look at herdear departed one right beforethe funeral and, to her horror,finds that he's in his brown suit.She'd specifically said to theundertaker that she wanted himburied in his blue suit; she'dbrought it especially for thatoccasion, and she was distressedthat the mortician had left him inthe same brown suit he'd beenwearing when the lightning bolthit him.She demanded that the corpsebe changed into the blue suitshe'd brought especially for thatpurpose. The undertaker said,"But madam! It's only a minuteor two until the funeral isscheduled to begin! We can'tpossibly take him out and gethim changed in that amount oftime.The lady said, "Who's paying forthis?" Seeing the logic to thisargument, a very reluctantmortician wheeled the coffin out,but then wheeled it right back ina moment later. Miraculously, thecorpse was in a blue suit.After the ceremony, a well-satisfied widow complimentedthe undertaker on the smoothand speedy service. She especiallywanted to know how he'd beenable to get her husband into ablue suit so fast. The funeraldirector said, "Oh, it was easy. Ithappens that there was anotherbody in the back room and hewas already dressed in a bluesuit. All we had to do was switchheads!
One day, there was this lawyerwho had just bought a new car,and he was eager to show it offto his colleagues, when all of asudden an eighteen wheelercame out of nowhere and tookof the driver's side door withhim standing right there."NOOO!" he screamed, becausehe knew that no matter howgood a mechanic tried to fix it, itnever would be the same. Finally,a cop came by, and the lawyerran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUARDOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOMEFOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed."Your a lawyer aren't you?"asked the policeman. "Yes, I am,but what does this have to dowith my car?!?!" the lawyerasked. "HA! Your lawyers arealways so materialistic. All youcare about is your possessions. Ibet you didn't even notice thatyour left arm is missing did you?"the cop said. The lawyer lookeddown at his side and exclaimed"MY ROLEX!"
*Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'* A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a future congressman."*
A fire starts inside a chemicalplant and the alarm goes out tofire departments miles around.After crews have been fightingthe fire for over an hour, thechemical company presidentapproached the fire chief andsaid, "All of our secret formulasare in the vault in the center ofthe plant. They must be saved! Iwill give $100,000 to the enginecompany that brings them outsafely!"The crews try, but no one can getthrough. Then another fire truck,filled with a volunteer firecompany of men over 65, comesroaring down the road anddrives straight into the middle ofthe inferno. The other menwatch unbelieving as the oldtimers hop off of their rig andheroically extinguish the fire,saving the secret formulas.The company president walksover to reward the volunteers."What do you guys plan to dowith the money?" the presidentasks the group.The firetruck driver looks himright in the eye and answers,"Well, the first thing we're goingto do is fix the f*cking brakes onthat truck."
The teacher gave an assignmentto her fifth grade class :Get their parents to tell them astory with a moral at the end ofit.The next day, the kids came backand, one by one, began to telltheir stories.There were all the regular typesof stuff: spilled milk and penniessaved.But then the teacher realized thatonly Janie was left."Janie, do you have a story toshare?'''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me astory about my Mommy. She wasa Marine pilot in Desert Storm,and her plane got hit. She had tobail out over enemy territory, andall she had was a flask ofwhiskey, a pistol, and a survivalknife. She drank the whiskey onthe way down so the bottlewouldn't break, and then herparachute landed her right in themiddle of 20 Iraqi troops.She shot 15 of them with thepistol, until she ran out of bullets,killed four more with the knife,till the blade broke, and then shekilled the last Iraqi with her barehands.''Good Heavens,' said thehorrified teacher. 'What did yourDaddy tell you was the moral tothis horrible story?"Stay away from Mommy whenshe's drunk."
:-)The offer:-) A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. "I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the course." There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance." One final student rose up and opted out of the final. The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourself," he said. "You all get 'A's."
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Relationship JokeImpossible to PleaseA group of girlfriends is onvacation when they see a 5-storyhotel with a sign that reads: "ForWomen Only." Since they arewithout their boyfriends andhusbands, they decide to go in.The bouncer, a very attractiveguy, explains to them how itworks. "We have 5 floors. Go upfloor by floor, and once you findwhat you are looking for, youcan stay there. It's easy to decidesince each floor has a sign tellingyou what's inside."So they start going up and on thefirst floor the sign reads: "All themen on this floor are short andplain." The friends laugh andwithout hesitation move on tothe next floor.The sign on the second floorreads: "All the men here are shortand handsome." Still, this isn'tgood enough, so the friendscontinue on up.They reach the third floor andthe sign reads: "All the men hereare tall and plain."They still want to do better, andso, knowing there are still twofloors left, they continued on up.On the fourth floor, the sign isperfect: "All the men here are talland handsome." The women getall excited and are going in whenthey realize that there is still onefloor left. Wondering what theyare missing, they head on up tothe fifth floor.There they find a sign that reads:"There are no men here. Thisfloor was built only to prove thatthere is no way to please awoman."
10 Husbands, Still a VirginA lawyer married a woman whohad previously divorced tenhusbands.On their wedding night, she toldher new husband, "Please begentle, I'm still a virgin.""What?" said the puzzled groom."How can that be if you've beenmarried ten times?""Well, Husband #1 was a salesrepresentative: he kept telling mehow great it was going to be.Husband #2 was in softwareservices: he was never really surehow it was supposed tofunction, but he said he'd lookinto it and get back to me.Husband #3 was from fieldservices: he said everythingchecked out diagnostically but hejust couldn't get the system up.Husband #4 was intelemarketing: even though heknew he had the order, he didn'tknow when he would be able todeliver.Husband #5 was an engineer: heunderstood the basic processbut wanted three years toresearch, implement, and designa new state-of-the-art method.Husband #6 was from financeand administration: he thoughthe knew how, but he wasn'tsure whether it was his job ornot.Husband #7 was in marketing:although he had a nice product,he was never sure how toposition it.Husband #8 was a psychologist:all he ever did was talk about it.Husband #9 was a gynecologist:all he did was look at it.Husband #10 was a stampcollector: all he ever did was...God! I miss him! But now thatI've married you, I'm reallyexcited!""Good," said the new husband,"but, why?""You're a lawyer. This time Iknow I'm gonna get screwed!"
Joke: A man walks into a bar andasks for six shots of vodka. Thebartender says, "Six shots?Whats wrong?""I found out myolder brother is gay," repliedthe man.The next night, hewalked into the bar again andasked for six shots of vodka."What now?" asked thebartender."I found out myyounger brother is gay," repliedthe man.The night after that,the man walked into the baragain and asked for six shots ofvodka. "Geez, does ANYBODY inyour family like women?" askedthe bartender.The man replied,"Yeah, my wife does."
From A Mother With LoveDear Child,I am writing this slow because Iknow that you can't read fast.We don't live where we didwhen you left home.Your dad read in the paper thatmost accidents happen within 20miles from your home so wemoved.I won't be able to send you theaddress, as the last family thatlived here took the housenumbers when they left so thatthey wouldn't have to changetheir address.This place is real nice. It even hasa washing machine. I'm not sureif it works too well though.Last week I put a load in, pulledthe chain, and haven't seen themsince.The weather isn't too bad here.,it only rained twice last week,The first time it rained for threedays and the second time forfour days. The coat you wantedme to send you, your Uncle Stevesaid it would be a little too heavyto send in the mail with thebuttons on, so we cut them offand put them in the pockets. Wegot another bill from the funeralhome.They said if we don't make thelast payment on Grandma'sgrave, up she comes. John lockedhis keys in the car yesterday. Wewere worried because it tookhim two hours to get me andShelby out.Your sister had a baby thismorning but I haven't found outwhat it is yet, so I don't know ifyou're an aunt or an uncle. If thebaby is a girl, your sister is goingto name it after me, she's goingto call it Mom.Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vatlast week. Some man tried to pullhim out but he fought them offand drowned. We had himcremated and he burned forthree days.Three of your friends went off abridge in a pick-up truck. Ralphwas driving. He rolled down thewindow and swam to safety.Your two friends were in theback. They drowned becausethey couldn't get the tailgatedown.There isn't much more news atthis time. Nothing much hashappened.PS, I was going to send you somemoney but the envelope wasalready sealed.
Men say = Men really meanI'm hungry = I'm hungry.I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.I'm tired = I'm tired.Do you want to go to a movie? =I'd eventually like to have sexwith you.Can I take you out to dinner? =I'd eventually like to have sexwith you.Can I call you sometime? = I'deventually like to have sex withyou.May I have this dance? = I'deventually like to have sex withyou.Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!You look tense, let me give you amassage. = I want to fondle you.What's wrong? = I don't see whyyour making such a big dealabout this.What's wrong? = Whatmeaningless self-inflictedpsychological trauma are yougoing through now?What's wrong? = I guess sextonight is out of the question.I'm bored. = Do you want to havesex?I love you. = Let's have sex now.I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!Yes, I like the way you cut yourhair. = I liked it better before.Yes, I like the way you cut yourhair. = $50 and it doesn't lookthat much different!Let's talk. = I am trying toimpress you by showing you thatI am a deep person and maybethen you'd like to have sex withme.Will you marry me? = I want tomake it illegal for you to have sexwith other guys.(while shopping) I like that onebetter. = Pick any freakin' dressand let's go home!I don't think that blouse and thatskirt go well together. = I am gay.
:-)Little boy learns arithmetic.:-) A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?" The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!" The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?" The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone." To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"lol:-)
:-)Don't Erase This:-) One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class. The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none,erased it and then proceeded with the day's lesson. Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word. Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!":-)
A teacher in New York Citywanted to see how manyanimals the city kids in herfourth-grade class could identify.She drew a picture of a cow onthe blackboard and said, "Whocan tell me what this is?"A little girl raised her hand."Yes, Janie, what do you think itis?""It's a cow, teacher.""Very good, Janie," said theteacher.Then she drew a picture of a pig,and a little boy answeredcorrectly. She drew several otherbarnyard animals and wasunable to stump the class.Finally, she decided to trysomething a little more difficult.She drew a stag with a largespread of antlers. The kids juststared, but nobody offered ananswer."I'll give you a hint," said theteacher. "What does yourmommy call your daddy whenshe's trying to be 'lovey-dovey'?"Instantly, little Johnny raised hishand and said, -"ooh, ooh!, I know, Teacher. It's abig horny bastard!"
A lady heard her door bell ring and quickly wrapped a towel round her body.When she got to the door,it was her neighbour moses."Drop that towel and i wil give ynu fifty thousand naira".After thinkin for a while,she removed her towel.Here she was,standing in front of moses naked.He gave her the money and left."Who was dat"asked her husband",it was moses our neighbour",she replied."Hope he brought the fifty thousand naira he owes me".:-)lol:-)
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