A girl searching 4 her ideal manposted in a news paper,itreads=>i need a man dat wudneva leave me,never beat me andcan satisfy me in bed<=.D nextday,a man without arms and legsknocks on her door.she opens ddoorMAN:i want to b ur manGIRL:u are not fitMAN:i have no arms,i can't beatu.I have no legs,i can't leave u.GIRL:how can u satisfy me in bedMAN:how d u think i knocked ond door?

A wife knew her husband wassleeping wit d maid,so she laid atrap. She sent d maid to d villagefor weekend & didn't tell herhusband. Dat nyt they went tobed. The husband woke up &gave his old story. "Excuse medear,i want to watch Tv in dparlor", he went to the palourfirst. Shortly his wife snicked intod maid's room,stripped & laid ond bed light off .She heard himcome in silently & wasted no tymwit words & started making luvwit her since she was naked.When he finished,d wife said tohim..."God has exposed u,udidn't expect me on dis bed,didu"? She then switched on d light."No Madam!!!" said d securityguard,am sorry i didn't know itwas you. hehehe.

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How to catch a cheatingboyfriend! Here’s how.1. A guilty conscience is a heavyweight to carry around foranyone, and those that do usuallypay with sleepless nights. Maybeyou have noticed? Just one otherthing, the urge to admit thereinfidelity is almost as heavy asthe weight it’s self.2. Some people are not greatlybothered by there ownappearance, so if they all of asudden find a need to sprucethemselves up for no particularreason that you can see, thenthis could be a clue thatsomething is not right.3. How to catch a cheatingboyfriend may well depend onyou putting two and twotogether and realizing that thoserecent arguments were allcaused by him. But why? And thearguments always resulted inhim going out. Strange?4. You know when yourboyfriend is lying, but onlyrecently has it become aneveryday event. Never the less, itis upsetting for you to realizethis. But why is he lying all thetime. The one true thing about aliar, you have to have a goodmemory, sooner or later the lieswill catch you out.5. How to catch your boyfriendcheating, is by keeping an eye onthe time he spends on line, andmost particularly the emailactivity. This really is classic signsof a cheater.6. Your circle of friends will giveyou subtle clues, if anything isgoing on. By that i mean, verylittle eye contact will be given toyou. Conversations will be forcedand unnatural. You see yourfriends could be caught in themiddle of whatever is going on.7. Now cell phone conversationsor the secrecy of them, is a biggive away. Notice how hewhispers when he is on his cellphone? He was never that quitebefore. And most of the time heleaves the room any way.

BIG Trouble!A couple had two little boys, ages8 and 10, who were excessivelymischievous. They were alwaysgetting into trouble and theirparents knew that if anymischief occurred in their town,their sons were probablyinvolved.The boys' mother heard that aclergyman in town had beensuccessful in disciplining children,so she asked if he would speakwith her boys. The clergymanagreed, but asked to see themindividually.So the mother sent her 8-year-oldfirst, in the morning, with theolder boy to see the clergyman inthe afternoon.The clergyman, a huge man witha booming voice, sat the youngerboy down and asked him sternly,"Where is God?"They boy's mouth dropped open,but he made no response, sittingthere with his mouth hangingopen, wide-eyed.So the clergyman repeated thequestion in an even sterner tone,"Where is God?"Again the boy made no attemptto answer.So the clergyman raised his voiceeven more and shook his fingerin the boy's face and bellowed,"WHERE IS GOD!?"The boy screamed and boltedfrom the room, ran directly homeand dove into his closet,slamming the door behind him.When his older brother foundhim in the closet, he asked, "Whathappened?"The younger brother, gasping forbreath, replied, "We are in BIGtrouble this time, dude...God is missing--and they thinkWE did it!"

A MUST READReally heart touching………I was walking around in a BigBazar store making shopping,when I sawa Cashier talking to a boy couldn’thave been more than 5 or 6yearsold..TheCashier said, ‘I’m sorry, butyou don’t have enough money tobuythis doll. Then the little boyturned to me and asked: ”Uncle,areyou sure I don’t have enoughmoney?”I counted his cash and replied:”You know that you don’t haveenoughmoney to buy the doll, my dear.”The little boy was still holding thedoll in his hand.Finally, I walked toward him andI asked him who he wished togivethis doll to. ‘It’s the doll that mysister loved most and wanted somuch . I wanted to Gift her forher BIRTHDAY.I have to give the doll to mymommy so that she can give it tomysister when she goes there.’ Hiseyes were so sad while sayingthis.‘My Sister has gone to be withGod.. Daddy says that Mommy isgoing tosee God very soon too, so Ithought that she could take thedoll withher to give it to my sister…”My heart nearly stopped. The littleboy looked up at me and said: ‘Itold daddy to tell mommy not togo yet. I need her to wait until Icome back from the mall.’ Thenhe showed me a very nice photoof himwhere he was laughing. He thentold me ‘I want mommy to takemypicture with her so my sisterwon’t forget me.’ ‘I love mymommy and Iwish she doesn’t have to leaveme, but daddy says that she hasto goto be with my little sister.’ Thenhe looked again at the doll withsad eyes, very quietly..I quickly reached for my walletand said to the boy. ‘Suppose wecheckagain, just in case you do haveenough money for the doll?”‘OK’ he said, ‘I hope I do haveenough.’ I added some of mymoney tohis with out him seeing and westarted to count it. There wasenoughfor the doll and even some sparemoney.The little boy said: ‘Thank youGod for giving me enoughmoney!’Then he looked at me and added,‘I asked last night before I wenttosleep for God to make sure I hadenough money to buy this doll,sothat mommy could give It to mysister. He heard me!” ‘I alsowantedto have enough money to buy awhite rose for my mommy, but Ididn’tdare to ask God for too much.But He gave me enough to buythe dolland a white rose. My mommyloves white roses.’I finished my shopping in atotally different state from whenIstarted. I couldn’t get the littleboy out of my mind. Then Iremembered a localnews paper article two days ago,which mentioned a drunk man inatruck, who hit a car occupied bya young woman and a little girl.Thelittle girl died right away, and themother was left in a criticalstate. The family had to decidewhether to pull the plug on thelife-sustaining machine, becausethe young woman would not beable torecover from the coma. Was thisthe family of the little boy?Two days after this encounterwith the little boy, I read in thenewspaper that the young womanhad passed away.. I couldn’t stopmyself asI bought a bunch of white rosesand I went to the funeral homewherethe body of the young womanwas exposed for people to seeand makelast wishes before her burial. Shewas there, in her coffin, holdingabeautiful white rose in her handwith the photo of the little boyandthe doll placed over her chest. Ileft the place, teary-eyed, feelingthat my life had been changedfor ever…The love that the little boy had forhis mother and his sister isstill, to this day, hard to imagine.And in a fraction of a second, adrunk driver had taken all thisaway from him.Please DO NOT DRINK & DRIVE.